"This year I will continue to wake up at a normal time. I will still go to every lecture no matter how much I don't want to. I will be successful and responsible." Rawr.
After three weeks of failing miserably to keep these promises to myself I eventually managed to drag myself from my duvet-nest and make it to the library. (I suspect I would not have even managed this feat had I not had a looming deadline.)
On this particular day Jack Frost was doing a fine job of creating a myriad of dangerous obstacles for me to traverse. If you've ever tried walking on snow which has begun to melt, then refrozen, then a fresh snow layer added, then semi-melted, then refrozen again you'll know what I mean... Every step felt like that moment when you miss the top stair in the dark and your heart jumps at the prospect of your imminent demise. Jack Frost had also put on a sci-fi worthy display of freezing fog, but I was wise to his sneaky plan to distract me from my tentative steps and bring me crashing to the ground. >:(
I should note that I am a complete wuss when it comes to the cold. Over the years I have [unconvincingly] blamed my complete inability to deal with even a slight chill on my sub-tropical childhood, bad circulation, cheap socks, threadbare coats and, of course, the fact that this is without-a-doubt the coldest day in the history of mankind. I eventually admitted to myself that I am simply melodramatic about cold. The realisation struck during an obligatory rowing outing in mid-Winter when the river had burst its icy banks. We had to wade through the water with the heavy boat above our heads to put it into the safe zone where the hull wouldn't get damaged. (Never mind our toes.) All the other rowers plus the coach breezed through this task with biceps bulging and steely expressions, while I stood at the back trying to swallow my sobs so the team didn't think I was a weakling.
However, this day I was not going to be beaten... I almost made it through the day too, when this happened.
It has a mouth! Shoes with mouths are not easy to walk in at the best of times, factor in my ice strategy-walk and I looked like a limping turkey with a squint. This thought and the cold water seeping into my gaping shoe was enough to send me spiralling into hysterics. Slip-thwump-slip-stumble... hahahahaha... slip-stumble-slip-thwump... hahaHAHAHA!!! The realisation that people on the street were staring at me and stifling giggles behind their palms only made me laugh harder.
At that moment I decided it was probably best for the safety of myself and others to abandon my attempts to avoid my hibernation instincts. Just as well, since this is without-a-doubt the coldest Winter in the history of mankind.
